Starve Moon, starve
by beansprout1997
Summary: Story is back on! Serena is falling fast. Will anyone be able to save her from herself? [Rated T for anorexia and possibly language, some mild violence and such], please give it a try keeping in mind It's a bit angsty xxx [Chapter 17 now up!]
1. It starts

Chapter 1

It took time to kill herself. It happened very slowly. No body even noticed it until she had made a good bit of progress. But she didn't recognize what she was doing it until it was almost to late.

Day 1

**Serena's POV**

"You're such a pig Serena" Said Rae as se watched the blonde polish off her hot fudge Sunday. "Do you ever even think about what you're putting into you're body? You'll get fat if you don't watch it meatball head" I looked down at the two bites of Sunday I had left, then pushed them away. I got up to leave while I stuck my tongue out at the fiery priestess, but her words stopped me. "Maybe the meatballs aren't just on top of your head anymore Serena. Your sunday seems to be rolling over your skirt. Maybe you should consider a bigger shirt Belly." She said over her shoulder. I felt my blood run cold at her spiteful words. "Belly?" I asked despite the fact that I knew exactly what she was using that word for. "Amy told me that you were somewhat… overweight a few years back and that people used to call you 'Belly'. I think I might start calling you that just for… motivation, ya know?" She said. Then with a flick of her ebony hair and a wink of her soulful eyes, Rae was gone. I watched her walk away, but for the first time, my eyes wandered to her tiny waist, her slim wrists and long legs. Then I looked down. Maybe she was right, I thought pinching the skin above my skirt. I felt hot tears prickle my eyes when I realised there was a little too much skin there. I stood up straight and marched out of the arcade, white-hot rage filling me. Rae was right. She had too much 'belly' and that needed to change.

As I streaked through the park on my way home, I spotted Amy. Her azure hair stood out in the crowd, but what was normally a comforting sight only filled me with an awful cold feeling. Betrayal. A tad dramatic maybe, but I had told Amy about my weight problems and bullying in confidence. She had absolutely no right to go spouting off to Rae about it. I saw her raise her hand to wave, her signature smile on show, but I turned my back on her and took the long way home so I wouldn't have to be within a ten foot radius. I walked faster and faster, until I was jogging and then running as fast as I could, tearing through the trees until I came out onto the street. I wasn't even aware I had left the park until a human shaped cannon ball collided with me, knocking me out of the way of the oncoming traffic.

"Serena? What were you thinking, you could have been killed!" I recognised the sound of Darien's voice penetrating my mind. I looked up to see his slightly annoyed face, but it wasn't there long. In fact the annoyance ran away from his face and concern took its place as soon as he registered her tear stricken face. He took in my messy hair and the scratches on my arms. I hadn't even felt them as I ran. I stared at him and he stared at me. For like, three minutes. Then I got up and began to calmly walk away. Of course he followed and grabbed my hand. No words needed to be spoken as he guided me to his apartment. Soon I was sat at his kitchen table, the scratches on my arms cleaned and dressed, my face washed and a cup cake sat before me. Darien leaned against a countertop opposite the table and stared at me while I stared at my battered palms. "Seren-" he started but thankfully my communicator sounded loudly and cut him off.

"Moon" I say quietly to Rae's image. "Belly, get your big butt down here and help us out NOW!" she screeched in response. "Where?" I whispered, a silent tear slipping down my cheek, "The Park, now move it Belly!" Then she was gone.

"Thank you for taking care of my hands. I have to go now. Bye." It was all I could think to say. Then I was running, feet slapping the sidewalk until I reached the west entrance to the park. There, I ducked behind some dumpsters and transformed. It was hollow though. Normally it feels magical and spectacular, beautiful even. Today I may as well have just changed my clothes myself for how spectacular it felt. Sighing, I ran ino battle, leaving the problems of Serena- the problems that could get me killed at the gates. Time to be Sailor Moon.


	2. Rae's triad

Chapter 2

Darien's POV

I arrived a few seconds after Serena in the park. I stayed crouched high up in a tree hidden from sight in case the scouts didn't need me this time. I took the time space to think. It had been a very long time since I'd had this much cause to worry about her. I watched run silently into battle, her face completely blank until Sailor Mercury tried to welcome her. Then it appeared to twist in pain, something that very nearly stopped Sailor Moon in her tracks. I could recognise the very beginnings of tears, but not the big heaving wails that everyone had grown so used to over the years. The terrifying, silent tears I had witnessed today. I have never seen Serena cry like that, and I never want to again. It made me feel so … empty to see in such a dark place. Normally I would be filled with the light and laughter that she spread everywhere she went.

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><p>I re-focussed my eyes on the battle when I heard Sailor Jupiter's Cry of 'Jupiter Oak Revolution!' It didn't appear to have any effect on the huge thing in front of them. The monster whipped around to face Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus. Chains of shimmering gold flew out at the enemy, but he took hold of them yanking Venus off the ground and with the flick of a wrist- into a tree. What he heard next confused him though. As he watched sailor Moon prepare to attack, Sailor Mars' voice rang out; "BELLY! WHY DID YOU LET THAT HAPPEN? YOU'RE SO USELESS LATELY! Maybe all that ice-cream is catching up to you in battle, hm?" She had started off screaming from about ten feet away but with every word had gotten closer and quieter, until she was almost nose-to-nose with Serena. I didn't hear the last line of her tirade, but I didn't have to. Serena had told me the back-story to 'Belly' years ago after I found a photo of her at the time. It had been heart wrenchingly painful to watch her re-live it then, and it was no different now. At Mars' words all of the scouts turned around to face the soldier of fire, mouths hanging wide in shock. Sailor Mercury paled visibly at the name, and was shaking as she approached the Moon's warrior. Serena however, only stopped for a second to listen to Mars, and then she went back to powering up her attack. It hit the monster with a force no one had seen from the scout of the Moon. It was obliterated instantly, and everybody stood in silence as the Moon dust fell to the ground.<p>

I started to quickly descend when I realised how badly Seren was shaking. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I ran to her and turned her around to face me. Her gaze was fixed on the ground unwaveringly. While I was trying to assess my girlfriend's state of health, I heard Jupiter ask the question that I so badly wanted answered. I couldn't ask it because I was afraid of the venom that would undoubtedly lace my voice if I spoke to Mars right now.

"Mars? Do you want to explain to me why in the middle of a battle, you decide to attack Serena? Why you purposely tried to hurt her? Not one of us could have stopped Venus getting hit. We all get injures, it's apart of the job Rae, so why on god's earth you felt the need to go after Serena for it, I don't know. While we're at it, was there any particular reason you felt the need to call Serena _malicious_ and _CHILDISH_ NAMES, RAE? BECAUSE COMMENTING ON HER DIET DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER _SKILLS AS A SAILOR SCOUT, DOES IT RAE?" _Jupiter was right in Mars' face now, almost screaming. In that moment, I loved Jupiter like a sister, coming to Serena's defence like that. Mars was unfazed however. She replied very slowly and calmly and in Serena's direction. "Jupiter" she said with a giggle, "It's not attack. It's motivation. Right Belly?" she cocked her head, all the while looking at Serena who went rigid in my arms. Jupiter pounced on her, getting in everywhere she could, punches, kicks and slaps. I was going to stop it… in a second… or two, but Serena beat me to it. She went and touched Jupiter's arm and pulled her up off of Mars. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Venus sigh as if disappointed Mars wasn't getting worse. Mercury was still pale and silent, standing a good few feet away. "Jupiter, that's enough. What's done is done. Let's just… go home, it's late." I heard Sailor moon say quietly, then I watched as her transformation faded until she was Serena again. All of the sailors followed suite and headed off in their different directions. It was very quiet and I strained to hear it over the sounds of the park, but I'm sure I heard "Night Belly" from Rae's direction. It was then I noticed that Amy hadn't left yet. She had a few tears on her face, which confused me. I reached out to Serena and wrapped her in my arms, waiting for the tears. But none came. The crown of her head was against my chest as she stared at the ground, thinking. She looked up at me for a moment, and only then did she notice Amy standing near. Now one solitary tear made it's way from her glistening cerulean eyes.

"How could you? Amy, I thought we were friends. You were the first scout; I thought I could trust you. But I guess not. Goodnight Sailor Mercury." At first her voice was thick with emotion, but as she approached the last sentence, it turned very formal, cold even. Amy opened her mouth to say something but Serena turned on her heal and began to walk away. She bowed her head and went in the opposite direction. I caught up to Serena in a second and put my arms around her, forcing her to stop. She huddled up in my embrace and let those silent tears fall once more, small shudders and hiccups wracking her body. I picked her up and sped back to my apartment, jumping across rooftops and flying through the night. I had to fix this. I couldn't stand to see my love in so much pain. It had brought me dam near to tears myself, to see her so small and vulnerable.


	3. cupcake resolution

Darien's POV

I sat with Serena for a while as she attempted to pull herself together. I kept my arms around her long after her tears had dried. Seeing her so sad- it had torn me up inside. It almost physically hurt. I was thinking about ways to make her feel better when I felt her look up at me. I met her stunning cobalt eyes and smiled a little at her. I was rewarded with a small smile of her own, and soon we were grinning and giggling like little girls. Then it was full blown laughter for no reason what so ever.

"Oh, Haha, thanks Darien. I needed that," she said wiping a tear from her eye. "Any time Moon" I promised, using a nickname for her I had grown fond of recently.

"It's about 7.30. Want to grab some dinner?" I asked knowing Serena would be hungry. She obviously approved if the way she was grinning and nodding her head at 200 mph was any clue. "Okay, I'll go grab my jacket. Be back in a sec", I quickly walked out of the room, not really wanting to leave her.

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><p><span>Serena's POV<span>

I watched Darien almost run out of the room and smiled to myself. I was so lucky to have him. He knew exactly what to do, didn't even have to say anything and I still felt better. Stretching my palms to the sky, I yawned and slipped off of the bed. Padding into the kitchen, I went to grab a bottle of water but stopped for a second when I saw a cupcake on the table. Darien had got it for me earlier in the morning. I had been too upset to eat it then. I stared at it for a while longer, remembering why I hadn't eaten it. Then I made a decision. I would show Rae. I'm not always a pig. I can lay off the junk when I want to, and from now on that's what I would do; no more junk or snacks. Just three square meals a day. But how to compensate for all the rubbish I'd already eaten today?

"Hey Darien?" I called out. He popped his head out of the closet and grinned at me. "Yeah? I'll just be two seconds, just getting my shoes on…" He replied, hopping on one foot while wrestling a shoe onto the other. "I'm not feeling so good", I said, picking up the cupcake gingerly with my fingertips. "I think I'll just go home, I've really not got much of an appetite after all that crying". I lifted up the lid of the bin and threw the cake in- and with it my bad habits and greediness. Darien stopped hopping and stood motionless. I held my breath while he slowly made his way to the kitchen.

He kept walking until he was inches away from me. "Serena?" he whispered, his voice only just reaching me it was so quiet. "Serena, look at me" He pleaded, his voice a bit stronger this time. I unpeeled me gaze from the black and white tiling on the floor and hesitantly met his stormy midnight eyes. "Is… is this because of what Rae said?" He asked, the concern and fear evident in his voice. I dropped my eyes for a second and forced a smile onto my unwilling face.

Then I looked my boyfriend dead in the eye and let the lie slip off my tongue. It shouldn't have come so easily- lying, but for some reason it came as naturally to me as breathing. He didn't think twice when I told him how I had a headache and really wasn't up to a snack let alone a meal. He being a gentleman insisted on escorting me home, and the walk was made in companionable silence. At my door he paused at looked me deep in the eyes. Suspicion was written in the lines of his face, and soon in his words. He asked me a total of four times if I was sure I didn't want to grab a bite, and I kept up the façade until the fifth time. Then just as the words had left his lips, an almighty noise left my stomach. It was like a dying animal. And it was oh so loud. I was surprised my mom and dad didn't come out to see what it was. The horrific noise had the orbs that served as eyes bugging out of Darien's perfectly shocked head.

That's how I ended up at the arcade with a burger and fries sat before me. Opposite, Darien sat with a similar meal that he was ripping into. About halfway through the almost poetically beautiful and succulent burger he noticed that I'd only eaten a couple of golden fries, and taken one small bite from my own poetry patty. When I noticed that he was staring at me, I picked up a French fry and popped it into my mouth, and then picked up my burger and took a humungous mouthful. The bulge of food in my cheeks seemed to appease him as he went back to his own meal and I breathed a sigh of relief. He made me finish all of the fries and half of the burger before I was allowed to leave.

Stupid Darien. I glared at him the whole way home and didn't say one word until we once again reached the front door to my house. In the dim light of the setting sun I realised that the door was the exact same shade of green as Lita's skirt. I studied it for a while until I felt a large hand settle on my shoulder. I turned around to face him, fixing a cold glare, but softened my features almost pathetically fast when he brushed his fingers across my cheek. He laid a soft kiss on my forehead and whispered 'goodnight'. Then he was gone. I sighed and headed indoors. With out a word I climbed the mountain of steps to my room, stripped and slipped into bed. Within seconds I fell into a restless sleep, exhausted from today's dramas.


	4. Nightmayers

Chapter 4

Serena's POV

Day 2

Nightmares stalked me all night. It had been a long time since I had had a nightmare and it had chilled me to the bone. Every time I woke up I'd slip back under, as if the dreams weren't ready to let go of me just yet. Visions of shadowy monsters, fire, and blood plagued my sleep, and by the time I woke up properly at 5.45 in the morning, I was drenched with sweat and more exhausted than I was the previous night.

In the bathroom I showered and brushed my teeth, and I took in the large violet circles under my tired eyes. Then I spotted them. The shine of the silver caught my eye. They glared at me from their place under the sink, just daring me to use them. I steeled myself- if I was serious about losing a few pounds then I would just have to weigh myself. I pulled the scales out to the middle of the bathroom and stripped until I was standing in my underwear. I refused to look to my left where the full-length mirror hung, afraid of what I might see. I step forward and gulp. My eyes are squeezed shut as I wait to feel the scales settle on a number.

120. I stare at that number for a long time. It's not bad- certainly normal for someone my age. But I've always been slimmer and taller than most people my age. And the last time I weighed myself, not 2 months ago, I was only 110. That's ten pounds.

Sighing, I returned to my room and began to get ready for the day. Today just for a change (and to freak out my friends) I wore my hair down, curling it slightly. That took 45 minutes to do. It was around 7.00 when I had finished my make up- just a slick of lip-gloss, a bit of mascara and a ton of concealer under my eyes. I picked out one of my favourite dresses to wear. It was a really pretty white cotton button up dress, with navy buttons and embroidering at the bottom and sleeves. I paired it with weaved with wedge sandals and made my way downstairs to start my day.

I reached for a bagel on my way out the door, but stopped when I thought about it. Bagels aren't healthy. I said to myself that I would get a fruit salad at the arcade and left the house with a smile on my face. This was the new me. A healthier me. I took my time walking, and went the long way through the park, enjoying the beautiful morning, so it was a little after 8.30 when I arrived at the Arcade for my breakfast.

Andrew gave me a bright smile as I wandered in, and I spotted Darien seated at the counter, drinking his coffee as usual. A huge grin split my face as I walked up to him and gave him a hug from behind. He turned around and returned the favour with a kiss and we sat down together while I had my fruit salad.

Lita's POV

I have never been so _mad_ at another person before last night. There is something about Rae that has never sat right with me, but I couldn't put a finger on it until she went off at Serena for nothing. She is a_ bully. _A rotten, good for nothing, playground bully who doesn't fight fair. _Always_.she has always picked on Serena, always bickered with her. Come to think of it she was always hypercritical when we were training, not just to Serena but to everybody. Nobody is ever good enough in that girl's eyes.

The more I think of it the more I fume. I storm down the street, feet pounding the ground and face red with emotion. Why? Why cant there just be love and kindness? As sailors, isn't that what we strive for? Isn't that what we fight for everyday? I sigh and rub my temples in a calming motion. Getting mad wouldn't do any good. Cracking my knuckles to relieve some tension, I noticed I was outside the arcade. Andrew. He would cheer me up. Upon entry, I see Serena and Darien laughing and smiling. It would be a good day, I decided.


	5. she takes charge

(Lita's POV)

As I sit down with my friends, they turn to me to share the cause of their giggling. Serena is trying so hard to breath that she cant get the words out, so Darien informs me that when Serena came in earlier than she ever had before and then proceeded to order something healthy, the shock caused him to pour rather hot coffee all over himself.

As the laughter died down, so did Andrews furious blush and the conversation turned to plans for the day. While Darien questioned Serena about the possibility of going to a museum, I took the opportunity to scan Serena for any sign she was still upset about yesterday. She seemed perfectly normal aside from the absence of her meet ball hairdo. No red rimmed eyes or wobbly lips. I watched intently as she speared a strawberry from her breakfast bowl and brought it to her lips. Then I watched intently as she slammed it down and turned to me to ask why I had been staring at her for so long. Woops. I sat with my mouth open for a few seconds- scrambling for something to say that wasn't weird/insane when thankfully Serena's communicator went off.

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><p>[Set in a reality where Andrew knows all about the scouts and Darien and helps them out from time to time]<p>

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><p>Andrew lifted the counter to let the girls and Darien through without hesitation so they could use the private space in the back. Once safely hidden from public view, Serena raised the communicator to answer, but hesitated biting her lip. I knew instantly that she was afraid- mars' symbol was flashing angrily on the screen. I took the device from her shaking hands and answered myself.<p>

"Belly what took you so long? Too busy stuffing-"

"Do you want to stop talking now, or do I have to rearrange your face?" I say menacingly. Her eyes widen as she registers who has answered.

"There's a Youma in the mall, get here soon." She said quietly, the screen going black.

I look up to see Serena has turned and is already heading for the door. Darien looks at me with worried eyes as we move to follow.

All I see as we leave the arcade is Serena's fruit salad sat- nearly untouched- on the clean counter. A bad feeling starts to make its presence known at the back of my head.

* * *

><p>(Serena's POV)<p>

Arriving on the scene, we see mars throwing dozens of flaming snipers at the enemy but to no avail. As soon as we can we find the opportunity to do so we transform, and i find it almost hurts. When the transformation ends, I'm breathing hard and my joints all feel slightly disconnected. However, there's no time to contemplate why this is because the youma has sent an icy attack towards Rae. Relying on instinct and forgeting about the events of the past few days, i throw my body towards the attack and get to it just in time. It hits me in the stomach and i fly backwards into a vegetable cart, while Sailor Mars stands speachless and uninjured. Before I know it, Tuxedo Mask has me bundled in his arms and takes me to find cover in a store. We hear the cries of Mars and Jupiter's attacks as Darien asks me if im alright. I look down and see that aside form a bruise visible throught a hole in my bodice, I'm okay. I inform him of this but he seems unconvinced.

"Stay here" he pleads with me as he rejoins the battle. I hear cries of 'Venus Love Chain' and 'Mercury Bubble Blast!' and know that all the sailors are here. [Dont know if the Mercury attack is right or not]. Deciding to ignore Dariens request, I get up painfully and stumble out of what i now recognise to be the jewellry store where i first fought as sailor moon. A kind of nostalgia fills me as i remember, but it ends quickly as i hear someone shout my name. I snap to attention just fast enough to avoid a massive icicle and it soars past me about an inch from my head. I run towards the group and take out my [input wand/sceptor of your choice] and call out my attack putting an end to the battle. I spend a minute panting and watching the moondust fall to the ground while i try to collect my thoughts. I turn to the sailor scouts and Darien.

"Meating, Tonight at the arcade, 7 o'clock. Manditory. I'll see you there" i say in my most authoritive voice. then i let my transformation fade and leave the mall as just another innocent bystander in the wrong place and the wrong time.


	6. Fine

(Serena's POV)

I was practically marching away from the mall when I felt the hand come down on my shoulder, and was forced to stop and face Darien. This time there was no tears in my eyes, just determination. I would take back control of the scouts, my weight, my life. And I would never let it go again. His eyes however had a million different messages carved into the sapphire orbs. Questioning, scared, sad, loving and confused all rolled up in one look. I smiled broadly at him, and while it's not my 100 watt terrifying smile, it's enough to placate his fears for now. He puts an arm around my shoulders protectively and we begin to walk towards the park, nothing planned.

It's about half eleven when we've walked all of the park trails maybe three times, and Darien begs me to let him just sit for a while. I finally concede and we land heavily on the bench, both tired from the morning's events. He laces his fingers through mine and we sit there with my head on his shoulder for a while, talking about nothing.

When the topic of lunch comes up.

"Do you want to go someplace for lunch, or do you want me to cook you something at my place?" he asks innocently, fiddling with my hand and looking at something interesting in a nearby tree. My grip immediately tightens, and he notices, turning to look at me. I release it quickly and stand, formulating an answer as I turn to him once more.

"Actually I'm pretty tired from this morning" I say yawning convincingly. I wasn't lying. Between the lack of sleep, the weird transformation and the fighting I was drained. " I think I'll get a sandwich at home and go for a power nap".

(Darien's POV)

It was a completely normal 'Serena' thing to say, and a week ago I would have walked her home no question. But I had such a bad feeling. It was like with every word she said, the chord, the bond between us twanged in a horrible way. It_ felt _wrong. So in hindsight I don't know why I ignored it. But I did.

I tried to smile so she could see I wasn't worried, and I tried to trust my girlfriend's judgment. If she didn't see that her behaviour was weird by tomorrow, Luna probably would and beat some sense into her. So we once again joined hands and slowly strolled back to the Tskino family Residence.

A small kiss and a wave and she was gone, disappeared into her home where I prayed she would be safe from every kind of evil until tonight.

I took to the rooftops as a faster way to travel, and made my way quickly back to the arcade, while my mind stayed with a blonde princess, a few miles away.

(Serena's POV)

I leaned against the door and bit my lip. There was no one home. No one would know if I just didn't have lunch. I wasn't starving myself. It was one meal. Plus Lita always brings sooooo much food to these meetings, almost all deserts, so I would be fine.

I would be fine.

It was my mantra as I climbed the stairs to grab a quick nap.

I would be fine.

I would be fine.

I would be fine.


	7. The meeting

**Really happy with the positive feedback, hope you enjoy this chapter, a new perspective is introduced. I want to know how you feel about that, if it should continue to make appearances or if you think she should take a different side? let me know x **

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><p>(Serena's POV)<p>

I once again woke up exhausted, but this time with a burning sensation on my left cheek. Luna sat upon my chest nonchalantly, daintily licking her paws. She had woken me up with a scratch of those feline paws then. I rolled my eyes and swung out of bed, checking the clock on my bedside. 6.00 pm the glaring red numbers declared. I toddled downstairs slowly, not bothering to talk to Luna. What was there to say?

I didn't have to leave for about half an hour, so I turned on the TV, flipping the channels until the theme tune for 'Sailor V' filled the air. I closed my eyes and laid my head back on the sofa, just listening and completely relaxed. Until the doorbell rang.

Muttering under my breath, I got up to answer it. Out the corner of my eye I saw Luna sit up from her spot near the radiator, pricking her ears up in interest. As I yanked the door open harshly, I realized I was in a terrible mood- the usual smile on my face was replaced by a harsh scowl. I pondered this for a moment until I registered the hand waving in front of my face, connected to the boyfriend on the front porch.

I shook the cobwebs from my brain, cracked a smile and invited him in.

"What are you doing here? I'm not even late yet…" I said checking my watch; 6.20.

"Thought you'd like a ride," he said smiling. We sat on the couch and Luna immediately jumped onto his lap. He scratched behind her ears and she purred appreciatively. I smiled and made a move to go and get my jacket but a hand on my knee stopped me. I looked to Darien questioningly and found he wasn't smiling anymore.

"What is it?" I said as his hand fell limply into his lap.

"I just… doesn't matter. Go get your coat moon head " he said, giving me a weak smile.

A twang. A sharp, ugly twang on the cord that tied us together. That's the only way to describe how his perfectly normal words felt. It stopped me mid way between sitting and standing and made me draw in a sharp breath, and my hand flew to my left ribs- right where my heart would be. Right where the cord tied on.

* * *

><p>(Darien's POV)<p>

I wanted so badly to say something to her. Ask her what she would say, how she would handle this meeting. How she was feeling. It was scaring me that I couldn't tell what was going on with her. She was always an open book. In just that one minute- when I stopped her from getting up, she felt so far away from me.

But I didn't ask her. Something stopped me from getting the words out. A kind of fear. I didn't want it to sound like I didn't trust her to handle it right.

"I just… doesn't matter." I got that horrible feeling as soon as I said it. Right under my left ribs. I put my hand to the area and saw Serena pause- just for a second to do the same. Then she was grabbing her coat and we were in the car, driving towards god knows what.

* * *

><p>(Mina's POV)<p>

I unfortunately arrived at the same time as Rae and was forced to share breathing space with her while we walked through the entrance to the arcade. It was 'closed' officially but Andrew agreed to let us use the space for our meetings. She tried to make regular conversation, but I couldn't stand to talk to her.

"Sailor mars, enough. I don't take kindly to anyone trying to hurt the princess in _any_ way. And that means _anyone_. Don't try to be my friend right now, because I am _not_ yours." I said coldly. She stood still, shocked, as if she expected me to act completely normal. I turned and made my way inside, where I could see Lita had set up a small feast of deserts. All Serena's favourites. I smiled and thanked my lucky stars that Lita was our friend (and that her right hook was good enough that Rae appeared to have a nice black eye under layers of concealer). Just behind us, Amy trailed in- her eyes on the ground and her shoulders hunched. There was silence.

I can't say I understand the full story. But what I understood was that Rae had said terrible things to Serena, and Amy had somehow played a part. In this, the scouts were divided and now awaited their leader to either unite them, or make the division permanent.

And then the princess of the moon arrived with the prince of the Earth by her side, more regal and in control then I had ever seen her. I had the urge to bow, and followed it, greeting her by her title; Queen Serenity. Lita immediately followed, then Amy and after a moment's hesitation and a scowl- Rae.

"Thank you for coming. Take a seat and we'll get this over and done with". And so it began.


	8. The leader

**Big confrontation! Thought's so far? Next chapter I'll be bring in either Rae or Amy's POV, maybe both? I want to know what you guys think Darien's take on this should be? Read, enjoy and review! x**

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><p>(Serena's POV)<p>

"I won't keep you long. I wanted to have this meeting to make things absolutely clear. Over the last few days, there seems to have been some confusion when it comes to the chain of command, and our relationships outside of being sailor scouts." I said looking each scout in the eye evenly, completely stoic.

I closed my eyes for a moment- scared I would cry. But if there ever were a time to be strong, to not cry, it was now. I drew strength from my prince and steeled myself. Opening my eyes, the warriors that protected the world were waiting expectantly to see what I had to say.

"Like it or not, I am your leader. There is no changing that. But there is something that has to change. Your attitude towards me", I said, my voice cold and hard- so foreign to my own ears. I was looking directly at Rae when I said it, but I let my gaze drift to include each Scout.

It had to be said, and it had to be done, despite the pain that even the thought of it caused me. "Rae. You had _no_ right and _no_ authority to speak to your leader the way you did today. It is unacceptable and I _won't_ tolerate this disrespect." I looked her in the eyes and saw nothing but fear and confusion. But I moved on quickly so she didn't have a chance to respond.

"Amy…" I once again had to stop and compose myself, but even then I couldn't stop the quiver in my voice; "You've made your position clear to me. I don't have your loyalty or your respect-" I was cut off mid sentence.

"But Serena I-" I repaid the kindness. "Save it Sailor Mercury. If I had either your loyalty or respect, then _none_ of this would have happened." I saw tears falling from her eyes but refused to acknowledge it.

"Lita, Mina, I am grateful for the support and kindness you have shown to me. I can't tell you what that means to me." I said. I hoped they could see in my eyes the depth of my respect and thankfulness towards them.

"But this needs to stop. It is disrupting our battles now, and that could leave innocent people wide open for injury or worse" It was a statement addressed to all the Scouts.

So what I propose is that outside of scout business, you have no contact with me. Sailor Mars, Sailor Mercury-" a small break in my voice made me stop for a second-

"consider our friendship terminated. I thank you for all you've done for me up until now, but I feel this is the only way for us to continue. But let me make myself clear," I said, standing above everyone else. They all looked devastated, as if they were in shock. I was only numb now.

"This discussion will _not_ affect Scout business in any way. Mars, Mercury- you will have to earn my trust back because for now you've lost it. Venus, Jupiter- I'm leaving this up to you. You have a choice. You may remain my friends outside of scout business, or if you feel it's best you can also cut contact. The decision is yours. But again, anything discussed tonight will _not_ impact on out performance as Sailor Scouts. Do I make myself clear?" I received slow, sad nods from everyone. Without another word I turned to leave. I felt Darien rise to follow me and left the room- and a piece of my heart behind.

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><p>(Lita's POV)<p>

As soon as Serena was gone, it started on all sides. Crying, frantic talk about what just happened. Amy had her head in her hands, and was weeping hysterically. It scared me to see her this way- so out of control. Mina was crying as well, but she hardly noticed. She was to busy getting into a fight with Rae- the only one in the room not crying. The fight escalated until they were standing, screaming at one another. Instinct told me to take control of the situation before something really bad happened. I slammed both fists down on the table and ironically the sound resembled a clap of thunder.

The room froze. "Sit down. _Now_." They each fell into their seats and quietened down under the weight of my glare. "Amy. Mina and I don't know exactly what happened, so you are going to tell us". As Amy opened her mouth to tell us everything, Rae jumped down her throat.

"I'll tell you what happened! That stupid Moon Brat can't take a silly little joke and had a fit because-" I didn't hesitate. One swift, hard slap across the face silenced the Soldier of Mars. "When I want you un-educated and childish opinion Sailor Mars, I'll ask for it." My voice was laced with the worst kind of venom- _hate_. She stared at me in shock, a hand raised to the rapidly reddening area of her face. "Mercury?" I said moving on, un-fazed.

"Well…"


	9. Amy tells all

**So finaly, Amy gets a look in! I hope you like it, so enjoy and review! x**

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><p>(Amy's POV)<p>

Rae fled the room with her coat, eye's watering and the icy feel of reality hitting her. No one saw the joke. Everyone saw the pain and sadness she had caused their princess. Everyone saw an un-loyal scout when they looked at her. So she went home. I turned to Lita and watched her nod subtly, telling me without words to continue. For days now my guilt has been eating me alive. I couldn't wait to unburden myself to someone, anyone. To be punished for my treachery.

"I should never have told Rae about Serena's secrets. But it was hard not to. Something about the night I told Rae… it seems like a blurry dream now. I can't remember a lot of it. I put it down to the fact I was tired- it was 2 o'clock in the morning when it came out. A sleepover at Rae's, just the two of us. We got to talking and it just… slipped.

Back when Serena and I were the only two scouts, we were inseparable. I have never been closer to anyone (outside my family) than I was to her in those weeks. She made me feel welcomed and loved, apart of her circle of friends in a way no one else ever could be. We told each other everything. And one night, when she came over to my house for a sleepover, in much the same way I told Rae- she told me." I said head down and rain falling from my eyes.

I felt like I was drowning on dry land, under the gaze of my fellow scouts. To my surprise, Mina reached out and placed her hand on my shoulder firmly, giving it a squeeze and forcing me to look her in the eye. She shot Lita a quick look and she nodded. "We know you're sorry. It's easy to see how this is affecting you. Just keep going, tell us what happened, what she told you, and we'll take it from there Amy". Another squeeze. The rain gets heavier, making rivers that flow to waterfalls at my chin. I take a deep breath and begin again.

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><p>"When Serena was little- only 7 or 8, she was chubby. Not fat, not even close. Just a little chubby. But the kids at her school bullied her so much. They called her 'Belly'"<p>

I couldn't stop my face from contorting in disgust at the cruel name. They broke her down so far; hurt her so bad that the stress and anxiety got to her. She stopped eating all together, her hair even started falling out a little. She changed schools after a while, and then things were fine. She got better almost immediately, made a million friends and became the Serena we know and love. Never thought of it again." My view had wandered to the open door and the rapidly darkening sky. It was going to storm soon. There was a moment of silence while Jupiter and Venus took in my words, and sympathised for Serena.

"I don't know why I told Rae that. I guess, after more scouts came and we became a team, I just didn't feel as close to the moon anymore. I was jealous. Rae had been saying little things about her the whole night, snide little comments. I guess I just wanted to be close to someone again, so I told her the only bad thing I knew about Serena." I couldn't stop the crack in my voice or the force of the tears that came. Mina made a move to comfort me, finally understanding everything that had happened, but I backed away from her warm touch. "I didn't know! I swear I never, not for even a second thought that Rae would ever use it against her…" I was weeping into my hands, waiting for something to happen, for my punishment to come.

Instead, two pairs of arms encircled me, and the people they were attached to spent the night letting me know I was loved and apart of their family. They held me as I cried and talked to me for hours after we left the arcade. I slept at Mina's, and prayed that one-day I could be Serena's friend again, and share the light of the radiant moon that I had lost.


	10. Not a word was spoken

**So new chapter, and as expected a new perspective. I really need you guys to review because I don't have any clue if I'm going about his the right way, or if it's believable! Also, would you like the chapters a bit longer/shorter? :/ I would love to know what you think so I can ajust the story to everyone's taste and keep giving you something ****you**** want to read! So do enjoy this chapter and please please please review!**

**Peace out dudes xxx**

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><p>(Darien's POV)<p>

I never expected Serena to say that. I thought if anything she wouldn't be harsh enough in whatever she said. To completely cut all her ties to two of her best friends just seemed so cold, and hard for Serena. Nothing like the forgiving and tolerant soul I knew and loved. As we walked to my car around the corner, I swear I could feel waves of loneliness and hurt falling from her. She marched ahead in front of me, so I couldn't read her expression or her eyes, but her silence said enough.

When the car came into view, I reached into my pocket and got the keys unlocking it from about 10 feet away. By the time I opened my door, Serena was inside and buckled in. when I had sat down, she had drawn her knees up to her chest and her face was in her hands. She wasn't crying as far as I could see, it was more like she was hiding from the world for a moment. It made my throat catch and nearly made me cry that I didn't know how to help her. I put my hand on the side of her head and stroked her hair, and she seemed to lean into it, which I took as a good sign. Then came a shudder, and although I couldn't see it I knew she was crying now. I watched her shoulders bob silently for a few minutes before turning on my engine and driving to my apartment, speeding all the way.

I didn't hesitate when we got there after what seemed to be a silent eternity. I scooped her up into my arms from her seat, and carried her- still half curled in a ball- up the stairs and into the apartment. We sat on the couch with her in my lap, unmoving for two, maybe three hours. She just cried. Not a word was said.

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><p>(No one's POV)<p>

Rae didn't know where to go after she left the arcade. She knew she couldn't go back to the temple. Not after what had happened. She wasn't sure what the great fire would do. Someone would sense it, or the fire would reveal it. She had a dark Youma within her. In her head she cried out in frustration and sadness.

Why couldn't the scouts see that there was something not right? Couldn't they feel that this wasn't Rae? Sure she'd make fun of Serena, she'd be hard on her, but Serena was her best friend! She loved her. She would never do this.

The day after the sleep over with Amy, Rae had been walking to the store to buy groceries for her grandfather. She was thinking about what Amy had told her the night before, and clenching her fists in frustration. She knew what it was like to be singled out and bullied. That's when she ran into the Youma. Literally. Head first. It was such a Serena move to make.

But upon making contact with it, Rae found she couldn't move. Not a muscle. She felt it breath on her, the sensation cold to the point that she wondered if she was covered in frost. She pulled her mind back to the situation, and tried to focus on what she was forced to see, as even her eyes were locked into place. Deep, dark, bloody Red scales laced the surface of the creature. Cruel and sharp wooden horns grew all over her head, serving as hair, she supposed. No doubt they also served a much darker, less innocent purpose. It gave off a masculine vibe, despite having no discernable features to mark its sex.

She was concentrating so hard that the didn't feel it when her control slipped away. But she noticed when she began to move against her will. Walking down the streets, the groceries forgotten, she tried her hardest to stop. But she was a puppet. She felt the chill invade her mind, analysing her thoughts and memories, and she could sense it's joy when it found Sailor Moons identity. She practically felt it jump up and down with glee when it found her apparent weakness. Her tortured past of bullying.

From then on she was forced to watch the Youma's plan unfold and play itself out before her eye's. She could already sense Serena's hurt and the sense of betrayal she felt. And there was not one thing she could do. She spent that night walking around the city at the Youma's request. It knew how not to get caught. And she hated it for that.


	11. Fall

**Another chapter guys :) very Serena orientated. Let me know what you think about that. Read and enjoy! Review as well if it's not too much trouble.**

**Beansprout1997 xxx**

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><p>The next six days were hell. The scouts were divided and broken, Jupiter and Venus found themselves caught between a rock and a hard place. To top it off there had been Youma attacks two, sometimes three times a day and everyone was exhausted. Their bodies didn't have enough time between battles to heal completely, so their injuries were beginning to show in everyday life.<p>

But despite the difficult conditions and fatigue, everyone found their attention on a certain princess. Their worries were spot on.

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><p>(Serena's POV)<p>

The shrill screeching of my alarm clock curtly informed me that it was 4.00 AM. I opened my dull eyes and moaned inwardly. Everything hurt. I had been so beaten down in battle that the bruises had stopped disappearing after I de-transformed. "Thank god for concealer" I thought as I slipped out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I was careful to avoid the mirror. The thought of what I might see scared me.

I knew without seeing it in the mirror that my left eye was still slightly swollen and was most definitely bruised, and that a similar bruise was blooming on my jaw. I ran my fingers tenderly over the deep blue and purple field and winced in pain. I had bruises and cuts all over, but the injury that was by far the worst was a huge and deep gash, (caused by a reptilian Youma's tale, covered with knives) running across my right thigh. It was easily nine or ten inches long. It went from just below my hip diagonally downwards to wrap around my leg and stopped half way around my knee. I got it the last fight and managed to hide it long enough to get away and stop the bleeding.

"I think I fooled the scouts, but Darien has been calling me non stop all night since the battle. I think he saw..." I thought aloud through a blanket of white foam as I brushed my teeth. "What did Darien see?" Luna asked from her spot at the door. I managed to stab my own cheek and jump a foot in the air, simultaneously screaming. Once my heart rate had returned to that of a regular human, I answered; "Nothing Luna, now can I have some privacy?". I basically shoved her out with my foot and slammed the door. I felt bad, but I couldn't let her see the numbers on the scale I was so ashamed of, and I couldn't avoid the weigh in. Sighing, I pulled the silver law book out from under the sink and obeyed the call.

I'd lost 3 pounds in 6 days. I gave a small, sad smile. It wasn't enough, but it was something. I needed things to move faster though, needed things to go back to normal. Maybe if I lost the weight, Rae wouldn't hate me anymore, and I would be a better scout, and everyone would love me again. I could have my friends back, maybe even make more. But only if I lost the weight.

I finished brushing my teeth and washing up, glancing fleetingly at the huge, dark rings under my eyes. They were getting harder and harder to erase with concealer. Sighing, I turned away and got changed into sweats, tying my hair back in a long, fat braid. I grimaced at the latter adjective as it flowed seamlessly into my thoughts. "_Fat_". However I gave myself no time to think about it as I made my way downstairs and out the door, just registering the time- 4.25 AM.

As the cold, hard wind of the morning hit me, I started to make my morning promises that had become a part of my daily ritual.

_No breakfast. No lunch. Half dinner. _That last one was a new addition, added this very morning_._ A new one was added each morning now, when the numbers on my silver scales didn't match the ones in my dreams. _Jog for an hour. After school hit the gym. Drink a glass of water every hour. _And so the list went on. As I made my vows in my head, I began to walk, t hen jog, then run, hard and fast. My braid flew behind me in an effort to keep up. I felt the impact my feet had on the sidewalk jarring my whole body. My breath came in ragged bursts, tearing it's way through my nose and mouth. _No junk. _I round a corner, going so fast I nearly de-rail and land in the middle of the road. _Always be moving. _I swerve to avoid a fire hydrant on the edge of the sidewalk and do a clean side roll onto my back and back onto my feet, immediately running again. _Don't stop. _The sweat makes my shirt and joggers stick to my body. And after all that, a mere chink in the sidewalk ends my run. My sneakered toe catches it and I am catapulted into the ground.

I cry out in pain as my leg bends to catch myself and the long gash strains. I land heavily on my arms, and my ribs, leaving on the ground, gasping in pain and unable to move for close to ten minutes. The joys.

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><p>(Darien's POV)<p>

I shot up from my prone position in bed, sweat cascading down my face. Somewhere Serena- not Sailor Moon, but _Serena- _was in a huge amount of physical pain. I could feel it vibrating down the cord that tied us together and reverberate through my entire body. Immediately worry enveloped me entirely and without thinking I ran out of my apartment in a pair of sweats, socks and a vest, my hair going in a million different directions. I didn't know where she was specifically but I had a general direction to go on, and I could sense she wasn't far away.

After a minute and a half of intense running and praying, I saw her on a street corner, flat on her front. I could see from my position- easily 20 feet away- that her breathing was hugely laboured and erratic. It made the blood in my veins freeze, but I didn't stop until I reached her. "Serena!" I shouted and she jumped in fright. I turned her over, to see she was fully conscious.

"Darien… what?" she said, apparently confused as to why she was in my lap. But I was hardly paying attention, as I ran my medically trained hands over her face, down to her shoulders and arms. The on her ribs, continuing all the way down to her toes. I catalogued each gasp, and intake of breath, each wince and quiet "ouch" that she made. Every indication of injuries she never told me about. The worst one was her right thigh. I had no idea what it was, but she paled considerably and bit her lip, her breath hissing in and out rapidly. I made a mental note of everything, then without a word, scooped her tiny frame into my arms and carried her to my apartment, while she protested all the way.


	12. Wounded

**Really short and late chapter, apologies for that! Read, enjoy and review! **

**Beansprout1997 xxx**

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><p>I was sure that she could feel my hands- hell my whole body shaking as I carried her into my apartment, refusing to meet her eyes and let her know what I was thinking. It registered faintly somewhere in the back of my mind that my door was wide open when I returned. I was in such a gripping, raging, feverished, undescribable state of panic that it never even occured to me to close it. Or put shoes on. Or anything even remotely sensible. But noting the time of 5.00 AM as I progressed to the bedroom with my cargo, I decided there really was no risk of robbery so early in the morning.<p>

I reached the bedroom and turned the overhead lighting on with my elbow (somewhat awkwardly) before depositing Serena ever so carefully onto the forest green sheets of my bed. I know she said something, but I was in no mood to listen. As I rummaged through my bedside cupboard for my well stocked first aid kit, I tried to order and sort through my muddled thoughts. Why hadden't she told me? I can see why she'd hold back from telling the scouts she'd been hurt, but why hadn't she told _me?_ Sighing, I let the issue drop, and embraced my medical training. I turned back to her and found her half curled up in a ball, eyes on the door and a skeptical look on her face. Her mouth was set in a firm line, her eyes half hidden under her lids and lashes. Even then she still looked beautiful.

I handed her a pair of shorts and a huge t-shirt, and asked her quietly to go get changed in the bathroom. I wasn't really ready to talk to her yet, not properly. I was still mad and scared... What if I hadn't found her? I had only just shook the ugly thought out of my head when an even uglier flew on in- What was she doing out at 5.00 AM? She could have been out long before that... What the hell was going on?

I poured an unnessicary amount of ointment and anti-sceptic on some gauze and prepared bandages, bandaides and hesitantly laid out medical thread and needles. I hoped to hell and back I wouldn't have to use it. It would't be the first time I'd ever stitched her up, but it was always a long and painful process, and every time he prayed it would be the last time. She tentatively padded back into the room and only froze for a moment when she saw the equiptment. But she kept walking. I had a huge respect for how brave she was in these situations, even if she didn't always show her courage on the battlefield.

"Where to start..." I said, giving a nervous and shaky laugh. I was trying to lighten the mood a little, and she gave me a small half smile in thanks.

"Uh... start from the top and work down?" she uttered through what I now noticed were chapped and dry lips. I sighed.

"It's as good a plan as any I guess... let's get this done, okay?" At her nod I began.

She didn't even flinch when I put the antisceptic on the first cut I saw- a small gash on her right shoulder. I cleaned it out, dressed it and moved on. It went like that until I asked her to roll over so I could see her back. I sucked in a breath at the sight of dozens of bruises and scrapes and cuts, black, blue, purple, red. Lots of red. I just had to keep going.

Then I saw the monsterous wound on her right leg. I choked back tears as I examined it. It was so deep and long, no wonder she was in so much pain. There was a reason to use that medical thread then. I gave her hand a squeeze and she squeezed back, nodding in conformation of what I was left to do.


	13. Author's return

Okay, so a quick authors note. I've decided to try and pick this story back up again. I dropped it because I wasn't getting many reviews, I didn't have a lot of free time and when I didn't know if people where enjoying the story or not I decided to stop. I write for other people's enjoyment as well as my own, so when I don't think people are enjoying what I have written it becomes so much less worth while to me. So please, please, please keep supporting me in my writing and letting me know why you enjoy it. You shape the story as much as I do. And to the guest reveiwer- whoever you may be- that checks every week for this, you inspired this return, as well as all the other reviews that I've gotten since I left. That being said, I'm back now so let's see where this story goes! :)

All my authorly love,

Beansprout1997 xxx


	14. strawberry tea bags

**So just a short and sweet comeback chapter, mainly focusing on Darien and his budding concern for Serena. I want to thank everyone who reviewed to get this story back and to let me know how much you liked the story! I'm so glad! That being said, I bid you adoo-doo with all my authorly love,**

** Beansprout1997 xxx**

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><p>An hour and 16 stitches later, Serena was sat on my couch with an ice back on her leg and two pain killers in her stomach, her eyes closed, just on the edge of sleep. I was in the kitchen staring at a strawberry tea bag, bobbing senselessly around in steaming water. It was her favourite, and when we were done with the stitches I couldn't think of anything else to do. So I carried her into the living room, set her down ever so gently and went about the familiar task of making her tea. Something in the back of my mind told me I'd left it too long; her tea was getting too strong, but I was so lost in thought I couldn't lift my hands to take the bag out.<p>

What was she doing out at 5.00 AM? Maybe even earlier. What was she doing hiding her injuries? Had I done something wrong, something that made her not want to tell me?

My train of thought was interrupted by a soft nudge at my ankles. I was completely taken off guard and nearly let out a shriek that could rival Serena's. I luckily had the presence of mind to slam a hand over my mouth. I would never live _that_ down. I looked down to see what it was. Luna. I should have known. She often just finds her way into my apartment when she wants to. Generally her visits signify she's worried for either Serena or me. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking what was up, but I knew. And I knew she knew I knew. I brought a hand to my forehead and rubbed, the silent exchange finished. I felt her nuzzle her nose against my ankles and curl her way between my feet. She knew I needed a little comfort and reassurance and that's exactly what she gave me. I bent down to scratch behind her ears in thanks, and set out a little bowl of milk before going to sit on the coffee table beside the couch.

Serena didn't say anything, her eyes still closed. I thought she was asleep until a tiny hand made it's way to mine and squeezed. She opened her tired eyes, and for the first time I noticed the violet rings underneath the brilliant blue orbs. She hadn't been sleeping then. Another question to ask. I let my head fall so it rested with my left cheek on my fist. Letting out a huge sigh, I gave a half smile and uttered;

"And what am I supposed to do with you Miss Moon?" It earned me a smile from the moon itself, and she shifted forward to let me slide in behind her- her own big pillow. I carefully let my arms encircle her in a hug that I hoped let her know she was safe. And that she could talk to me. I watched her eyes slip closed in contentment, and decided to take the leap.

"Serena".

"Darien". Came her reply.

"We need to talk about this".

"I know." I was taken aback by the ease of the conversation so far. I had expected her to stay silent. Hopefully she would answer my questions and come back to me now.

I licked my lips and let the first question float calmly into the air between us;

"First off, I don't know what's worrying me most; the fact that I found you collapsed on a sidewalk at 5.00 AM, the fact you aren't sleeping or the fact you've stopped telling me when you get hurt. You've stopped talking to me all together Serena, and it's scaring me. I need you. So talk".


	15. Pretty Little Liar

New chapter, a bit longer, a bit more dialogue and depth to the issue. Hopefully you're gunna like it, Thanks again for my beautiful reviews and if its not too much trouble keep them coming :) again I bid you adoo-doo with all my authorly love,

Beansprout1997 xxx

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><p>Serena's POV<p>

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><p>I felt a cold sweat come over me at his words. I gave a deep, heaving sigh and rubbed my hands over my face in an effort to wake myself up, and respond to him in a way that wouldn't just worry him more. Couldn't I get anything right? I wasn't even being a good girlfriend anymore; clearly I was worrying him, or stressing him out. He didn't need this.<p>

"Firstly, I didn't 'collapse'" I said, waving quotation marks in the air with my fingers. I had hoped it might lighten the mood. Darien's silence told me that wasn't going to happen. "I just tripped. Second, nobody's been sleeping well with all these attacks in the dead of night, not just me! And it's not that I didn't tell you, it's just that I didn't have the chance to. Between school, fighting and senshi drama, we only get a little down time and I just didn't wanna ruin that time with all… well with all this" I ended weakly, gesturing to my clearly bettered body.

I so hoped that Darien couldn't feel the thunderous beating of my heart through our shirts. I was surprised he couldn't hear it. A slight blush had made its dusky presence known across my cheekbones, but he couldn't see that from behind me. At least I hoped he couldn't. His expanding, and very firm chest nudged me forward as he gave his own sigh. All the while, with every nervous heartbeat, the chord, the strings of fate that tied us together twanged and pinged painfully. They felt stretched- as if they might snap at any given moment.

"So you tripped. Fine. But it was before 5.00 AM when you 'tripped', and you were too damn weak to pick yourself back up! _That_ is the problem here Serena!" He said, clearly exasperated at the fact he wasn't getting the answer he wanted.

I drew in a sharp breath at his words. I knew, I swear I _knew_ he didn't mean it in a malicious way, I knew he loved me. Knew he would never hurt me like that. But all I could hear was; "_You_ were too damn weak. _You_ are the problem here Serena". The words reverberated around my head, like a bullet ricocheting off of steel walls. With every echo and repetition of these words, I felt more useless, more bone idle than ever before. He was right. I was too weak to keep running. I was the problem. I bet Rei would have kept running. She would've gone further, faster, longer.

My thoughts were interrupted by Darien gently pushing me foreword, so he could get out and sit on the floor in front of me. He put his hands over mine, which had fallen into my lap in sadness. My eyes had fallen to similar depths. I felt his fingers gingerly lift my chin until I looked at him with teary eyes."Serena I love you. I want to know what's going on so I can help you, no matter what it is", Darien uttered, love and concern radiating from his now stormy Irises. "Please", he said, just a bit of desperation in his voice. Not enough to crack the concrete wall I had thrown up to defend myself from my insecurities. But enough that I would answer his pleas for information, even if I didn't give the whole truth.

"You want to know why I was out so…early." It's nearly a question as it leaves my chapped lips. He nods. I ;ick my lips and continue; "I need to be…" I wave my hand around for a moment in search of the right word. "Better", I finally spit out. He looks confused so I went on, and what I said was true but I had to leave some things out. I couldn't worry him _more_.

"Rei is right when she says that I need to be a better sailor scout. No one can deny _that_. I'm lazy, nine out of ten times I'm late, I cry. I'm a mess out there. And-god forbid- some one could get hurt if I don't do something about that," I pick my words carefully and speak slowly, willing him to see the logic in what I'm saying.

"So I've made a choice. To train myself, and improve myself. I got up early to go running, to be fitter and faster. To improve my performance as a sailor scout. The injuries from these last few days have been building, and I hadn't realised that would slow me down, or stop me. When I fell, it hurt a little, and I was out of breath so I stayed down. It was just for 30 seconds. I would've gotten up and kept going if you hadn't found me…" At this point I was rambling a bit, trying to convince myself I would've kept going. I wished he would just leave it there. I had given him a perfectly good answer to his questions.

"Serena, you know that Rei isn't right. You don't work in the same way as the other scouts, it's true. But none of them have anywhere near as much compassion or empathy when they fight either. They don't have to make the difficult decisions, they don't finish the Youma at the end of every battle; you do. You bear the brunt of the responsibility and weight on your shoulders and sometimes they forget that. You play a very different role from the other scouts, but it is- in my eyes at least- far more important. You don't have to change anything. You know that right?" He finished, a flicker of hope in his eyes, a hope I couldn't bear to snuff out.

"I know", I say, a smile on my lips, my confidence building as I go, "I know I don't have to but I want to Darien. I want to be better for everyone and for myself. I don't want to die" he flinched at my words, "and I don't want anyone else to die because I wasn't good enough. When the day comes that I take the throne as Queen Serenity, I want to be proud of my life as a senshi, not full of regrets. Please try and understand that this is what I want". I squeeze his hands in the blind hope that I'd gotten away with lying to a man I had dubbed: "The Human Lie Detector" at some point in our relationship.

He appeared to think hard about what I'd said, and after several (almost comically tense) minutes, he finally looked back up at me, an answer on his lips.

"Okay. Then we do it together. I'll help train you, and I'll help you improve your fighting skills if that's really what _you_ want." My heart flew; He had faith that I could be trained and improved and he had bought my story!

"But only under my conditions." My heart flew into an iceberg and got hit by the titanic. I narrowed my eyes and stuck my bottom lip out.

"What?" I asked suspiciously…

"First, we don't start until at least the wound on your leg is healed, preferably until all the wounds are healed" He shuddered at the word 'wound', and we both remembered the trauma of the last few hours. "Second, we go at my pace, no slower, no faster. Third we do this _together_. You don't try to do this alone. Lastly," he paused to look at me and squeeze my hands, "You promise me, you don't stop talking to me Serena." He looked me dead in the eye.

"I promise" I said, smiling and looking right back at his, satisfied that he was none the wiser. What he didn't- and would hopefully never- know, couldn't hurt him.


	16. Bruised foot anthem

To be honest a short, and fairly crappy filler chapter so I could skip ahead about a week in the plot :/ sorry about that, hope you review and enjoy anyway, with all my authorly love,

Beansprout1997 xxx

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><p>6 days and 7 lbs later, Serena stood upon her silver scales and smiled a twisted little smile. In less than 2 weeks she'd gone back to her original weight of 110 lbs.<p>

Suddenly the twisted smile dropped into a scowl and Serena kicked the scales across the room where they landed, sending a huge crack up her full-length mirror. The full-length mirror that taunted her by not showing her the skinny frame she remembered and craved more than anything else. She smirked, as a joke formed in her head that she was certain was also fact; if mirrors could talk it would be calling her fat. She limped away with what was now a rapidly bruising foot to start the day.

Darien was not willing to start her "Scout training" yet as the ugly red gash on her leg was still healing. So Serena had to improvise to keep losing weight. She still ran, but instead of getting up at 5.00 AM she got up at 3.00 AM. Less chance of being spotted. She did- for Darien's sake- take it a little easier, ran a little slower and was more careful so as not to trip. But on an easier, slower run, Serena was quite sure that not so many calories were being burned. And that would just not do.

Fixing the problem was rather easy. For the past week and a half, all Serena was eating was half of her dinner, no lunch or breakfast. So she simply cut out the last half a meal she could eat. Her mum and dad never even noticed, they weren't up early enough to see her skip breakfast and she was always out over lunch. They just assumed she'd already eaten. That combined with the fact she now power walked everywhere, did 10 sets of 10 sit ups a night and was taking every vitamin she could get her hands on meant the weight was just falling off her. Much to her liking.

(Lita's POV)

Something was so terribly wrong with Serena. It was plain to see that she wasn't eating. At the short and hugely tense scout meetings that were now roughly every two days, I brought brownies, cookies, upside down cake, right side up cake, pies, tarts, custards everything I could think of that she might like. They went untouched every time. And everytime Darien I would share a look. He saw it too then. I was almost certain it had something to do with Rei being in the same room as Serena and food. Serena would sit as far away from the food as possible, with her back to it if she could help it. And Rei would always stand, not directly next to her, but close enough to be intimidating.

Amy had been trying desperately to find a way to apologize to Serena. My heart went out to her. She should never have said it, but she never meant for any of this to happen. She was so visibly wracked with guilt through every meeting, either Mina or me sat next to her for support.

I think on some level Serena knew Amy was sorry, but wasn't ready to move past the hurt yet. Something I always loved and respected about Serena was her ability to forgive, but never forget. This incident would mean that her relationship with Amy would be ever so fragile in the coming months, maybe even years.

I sighed and dragged my attention back to yet another conversation about the source of the reason spree of Youma attacks. There had been 4 yesterday. We all agreed that they were trying (and although no one would admit it, succeeding) to wear us down, but for what? What was coming?


	17. A huge goddamn Youma

Another week passed and Serena was livid. Last week she had lost 7 lbs. 7 whole Lbs. This week? 5. 5 measly, stinking useless pounds. If there had been even a whisper of a doubt about her diet then, it was well and truly gone. The sight of food repulsed her. The smell of her mothers cooking (that once had her drooling) had her gagging. Her mind was made up. She would never eat again.

There were downsides to this. She knew she was more tired now than she had ever been before, and that her mood was darkening by the day. But these things were inconsequential. She had to keep going. There was a certain something though- that certain something at the back of her mind. It was fear.

She remembered the days of being a child long since forgotten- being tiny, just skin and bone, the first strands of her limp and deadened hair falling out. Hearing her parents cry with helplessness. She knew she said she'd stop at 110 this time. Yet here she was at 105 lbs, and trying harder than ever to drop weight. The certain something begged, pleaded, cried out for her to stop. But with every step Serena took on her runs, every bite of food she never took- the certain something was dying.

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><p>(Serena's POV)<p>

2.00 AM. The accursed shrill of my communicator fills the cold and endlessly dark night. I jar awake and lie still for a moment, listening to the uninvited noise. My eyes had been closed for all of 30 minutes before it had gone off. I was so tired. I consider – just for a moment- what might happen if I just… don't answer it. But the moment is gone, and soon enough Im flying bleary eyed through the trees of the park, having climbed out my window and run half way across town.

I come to an abrupt stop when I see Jupiter stood still, mouth agape, staring at Mars. Mars who was … glowing ominously, lighting up the small clearing in the trees. I took a second to be utterly confused before Sailor Venus appeared beside me and quietly urged me to transform. I took a few steps back and did so, the transformation more painful now than ever. The lights and glamour of it blinded Venus to how much it hurt. It felt as if some invisible force was trying to dislocate every bone in my body. I was about to land hard on the frosty ground when my usual saviour caught me. When I was able to breath right, and stand again all the non-glowing scouts were staring at me, clearly alarmed. I paid no mind.

Instead I prised Tuxedo Mask's hands from my waist and slowly approached Rei, signalling the others to stay back for the moment. I stopped about three ft away from her, and took a breath before I found my voice.

"Sailor Mars" at this she whipped her head around and focused her dull eyes upon me.

"Sailor Mars, I need you to de-transform so we can talk". Her eyes travelled from my own, to my feet and back. "I don't think so Serena. No, I think I'll stay just the way I am".

And with that, the glow surrounding her took on a physical form and moved behind The Scout of Fire. It was a huge goddamn Youma. It curled one of its scaly hands over Rei's shoulder and she smiled.

Then she leapt forward and fired a flaming sniper into my chest.

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><p>Expecting an attack at this point (albeit from the Youma, not from Mars), I jumped quickly to the right, catching a small burn on my left arm as I went. But she didn't stop there, she came at me again and again , flames violently heating the air around us, stirring the scouts into action. Mercury had arrived somewhere during the commotion, and now sent a thick mist towards us. In the moment of blindness, gloved hands enclosed around my waist once again, and lifted me silently into the trees above. When the mist began to burn off thanks to the heat Mars was emitting, I could see the other scouts had done the same. We sat for a minute, each trying desperately to figure out what was going on when the Youma (who had been still till now) raised his hand and Mars extinguished her flames. She turned and focused her now bright and very alert eyes upon me and smiled.<p>

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><p><strong>So... I haven't updated in a while :S Please dont be too mad at me! I dont have a good escuse, but I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry. Can you ever forgive me? Just a short comeback chapter, but plenty happens! Shall update soon, and if I dont then feel free to complain either by way of review or PM.<strong>

**With all my authorly love,**

**Beansprout1997 xxx**


	18. When Bubbles Aren't Cute

Serena's POV

"What's the matter fat ass? Can't keep up?" Rei said in a voice that was all her own. I thought hard for a second, going through everything I knew about Youma possessions, and victims- glowing eyes, deformed bodies, discoloured skin...and a disembodied voice. Rei stood below us in all her beauty and glory, as a scout and princess of Mars, not a hair out of place. Those same violet eyes stared up at me, with the same fire that had always been there, and the voice... I had heard that voice play through my mind countless times these last few weeks- it was most definetely Rei's. She wasn't being controlled, possesed or even influenced by this Youma. This was all her.

A quick glance around the other scouts confirmed that they knew it too. I looked back to what appeared to be a traitor, and saw that she wasn't there anymore. I looked around frantically, and saw the other scouts do the same, before what felt very much like two sharp 3 inch heels dug into my back and launched me out of my tree. I landed flush with the ground and the wind flew out of me. I could hear the other scouts cry out to me, and milliseconds later Tuxedo Mask was there beside me. But we didn't have much time to chat, as I had to pencil roll very quickly away from him to avoid being skewared by a fiery arrow. The flaming bitch was trying to make me dance, launching snipers at my feet and legs, burning me again and again. As I jumped around, I knew I was forming a distraction for the other scouts, giving them time to figure out their next move. Finaly Mars ran out of steam for a seconds, and I didn't hesitate to pull out my septer and scream out my attack.

Light and magic direct from the moon flowed throughout the park in what must have been my strongest attack to date (outside of using the moon crystal itself). It took everything I had. By the end of it, both Mars and I were on our knees, panting heavily. The difference is that she got right back up. All I could do was watch her.

"Sailor Moon!" My head snapped to the right when I heard Jupiter's strangled cry for help, and what I saw brought tears to my eyes. The Youma had encased Jupiter, Venus, Mercury and Tuxedo mask in a bubble, that was slowly filling with water. Electrcitiy, ice and light danced around the inside of the bubble, and burned their creators. Tuxedo mask threw roses at every chance he got but to no avail.

"They have five minutes worth of air in their Moon Pie" Mars whispered into my ear. When Had she gotten so close? "Think you can save them on time?"

"What do you want from me Rei? Why are you doing this to us? We're your _friends_!" I tried so hard to get through to her, but I knew- even as the words left my chapped lips- that it wasn't working. A kick to the throat rather confirmed that theory, and left me lying on the ground, grasping for air.

"You're not my friend" She screamed. "They are not my friends" She gestured to the bubble of sailor scouts. I am doing this because _I_ want to. I am finally my own leader, I will never take orders from you again."

Serena rolled into a standing position with some difficulty, and tried to show the confidence she wasn't feeling. "So thats what this is about? You're whining again because you arent the leader?" I tried. I flung my tiara at her in a vain attempt to stop her, but she dodged easily. She in turn attacked me with copious amounts of fire, which I did my best to dodge. I knew that the scouts and tuxedo mask didnt have much time left, the bubble was half way full- I had to end this. "Tell me Mars, tell me what happened to make you like this! You've always wanted to be the leader, but you've never wanted to hurt us before!" I shout as I make a bold move. I jump in front of the bubble, and let Mars fire more attacks at me. It's a gamble that pays off because she's too mad to process what shes doing, and as I dodge her snipers, one hits and pops the bubble.

I watch the scouts pant for breath and cough up water on the ground, and know that distracting Mars now is more important than ever, so I make what could be percieved as a bad decision. I walk right up to her until we are mere inches apart. Of course she throws me on the ground and wraps a hand around my neck, but then she gives me what I want- her reason.

"You're right Sailor Moon. I always wanted to be the leader. I always deserved to be the leader. But fate has never been kind enough to give me what I deserve, not in this life or any other. You see that Youma over there Serena? A few weeks ago it possessed me, and learned everything about me- it knew every corner of my mind. In return Iearned everything about it. It was a youma created to go after a dark heart! Do you understand yet Serena?" Her smile twisted grotesquely, her eyes darkening in a terrifying way. I could only shake my head as her hand tightened around my throat, and the other scouts looked on in horror.

"It was _meant_ for me! It opened up memories that we've never accessed before... it showed me how dark my heart truely is, how dark it's always been. Did you ever wonder how Queen Beryle breeched the walls of the Moon Kingdom all those millenia ago? Did you ever consider that someone on the inside might have let her in?" I couldn't drag any air into my lungs to gasp as the memories unfolded in my mind. Black spots started to dance at the edges of my vision, and hot tears ran down my face. Suddenly Rei was thrown off me roughly and I could breathe again. Tuxedo mask knelt over me to make sure I was alright, but I was already struggling to my feet, trying to get to where the other scouts had Mars pinned to the ground.

"Listen to me Serena! Hear the bottom line: I have always been evil, even if I didn't know it myself. I am my true self now, and I will take the power that is rightfully mine. Make no mistake, I will have your crystal, and I will take your life" She paused and licked her lips before looking me in the eyes and winking,

_"Belly"._


	19. A Rock and a Hard Place

Before Serena could even contemplate replying, Jupiter had slammed her fist into Mar's smug face with an audible crack. Blood spewed from her nose and Rae snarled in outrage. Mercury cast another thick fog to keep them concealed from the youma for a few moments, and Everyone though hard. There was no obvious solution, there was no easy way out. They couldn't test or theorize about what had happened to Rei without getting away from the youma, and they couldn't eliminate the youma without releasing Rei. Rock and a hard place.

When the youma released a hellish cry far to the left, Serena knew that they were out of time. So she did the first thing that came to mind. She yelled at Mercury and Jupiter to get Rei out of here and threw herself at the Youma foot first. Tuxedo Mask and Venus watched in awe as her moon boot connected with the youma's chest through the fog and it toppled to the ground. She then ripped her tiara off her head, powered it up and threw it at the thing she was now standing over. It bounced off of it's ugly face and Sailor moon caught it, immediately running back to the two stunned team mates at the side.

"Venus fire off a chain!" She said as she reached them, placing her tiara back on her sweaty brow. The fog had once again lifted, leaving the three completely exposed. The Youma- still grounded- rolled away from Venus' chain and weirdly enough plunged it's head into the ground. There was silence as the 3 regrouped back to defend against whatever the monster was doing. They didn't know what to think as a groaning noise was heard, and there was no time to react as the youma's wooden horns burst from the ground and wrapped themselves around Mina's slim ankles. She was immediately hoisted into the air upside down, a good 15 foot above their heads absolutely helpless and screaming profanities.

"Enough!" shouted Moon, the sight of her comrade dangling in the air too much for her. She ripped her scepter from the air and aimed at the monster who was now standing, horns embedded in the ground and free from it's head. This left it's skull full of holes, and an unsettling image to say the least. Darien watched as magic flew from Serena's scepter and struck the ugly thing, turning it to dust. Then he watched as she wobbled- her legs refusing to do any more for the moment. Of course he did what he had done for centuries and life times, what he would always do- he caught her as she fell. It could only have been seconds before she pushed herself out of his arms and proclaimed that she was fine, but those seconds were long. Darien watched as she stumbled toward the wooden reins that still held an unamused Mina high above them, and tug on them uselessly.

She just didn't seem to have an ounce of strength left to do anything bar balance herself on her feet and keep her eyes open. Even that seemed a struggle.

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><p>Darien's POV.<p>

Unable to watch any longer, I fired some roses at the gnarled roots, watching them break and catching the Venusian warrior. As soon as Mina's tender feet touched the ground she was off. She leapt in the same direction as the others had, no doubt to take some revenge on Mars before Serena could stop her.

I watched as the livid scout launched herself through the trees to catch up with them, and wondered briefly if Rei would survive the night. I found myself hoping not. Almost immediately Serena made to follow, but my hand on her elbow stopped her. I had no clue what to say, or why I had really stopped her. All I knew was that when I looked at her, she was pale in the light of the moon, blood and dirt marring her features and she looked like she might disappear. Like any second she would slip away and with her the future I so desperately craved. My life with her.

"Serena...what's going on? Your transformation, your attacks- why are you so weak?" I said, pulling her in front of me. I had my hands on both of her elbows and I could feel them sticking out sharply from the tops of her white gloves. Well, they had been white. Now they were stained with the blood that still ran freely from her nose. My eyes widened as my hands traversed her arms feeling every bone the limbs had to offer, feeling how little cushioning there was to protect her. She tried to pull free but I locked my hands around her wrists and shackled her to me- too disturbed in that moment to even think of letting her go.

"Darien" She whispered thickly, "Darien please, we need to go after Rei...", tears were spilling down her face. Normally she would be red with embarrassment or shame, but now she grew even paler. A flash of thunder in the night sky threw skeletal shadows across her pretty face, and we both jumped. As rain started to pound down on us, she took the opportunity to free herself and ran as fast as she could after the girls.

I- for a moment- could feel the cord, our bond, wrap itself around my heart, and weave itself in between my ribs as if trying desperately to stay attached. It squeezed painfully as it tried to hold on, as it was stretched to the limit. It was easy to ignore the pangs and pains at first but this was very real. This would kill us both if it broke. I ran through the torrent of water calling out to her to wait for me. I would be silent until Rei was no longer a threat, then I would root out whatever evil little seeds the wretch planted in Serena's mind, I will take back what has been stolen from her. Another crack of thunder sounded as I made my vow, masking the sounds of my feet upon the ground.

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><p>Serena's POV.<p>

I demanded that my mind stop playing that phrase over and over, so loud that I could hardly hear Darien calling after me.

_Why are you so weak?_

Why am I so weak? Why for once could I not be the warrior that the scouts needed, why for god's sake did I have to make a fool of myself again?! To hear it from Darien's lips, to hear him point out that I couldn't hold my own... I shook my head violently. No. No more. I would train harder, be better. I would not fall again. I couldn't, or I would lose everything.

Darien caught up with me quickly, but we didn't stop to talk. I was moving too fast for that. The rain continued to beat down on us, and I counted 3 lightning strikes until we arrived at the temple. They lit up its structure in an inky silhouette, and it stood as a foreboding reminder of what was to come. Of what we still had to face tonight.

He grasped my hand as we climbed the steps together, and I felt him run his thumb over it- appraising each bone he could feel. I snatched my hand away and cradled it as we neared the door, too terrified of what he would think of me if he knew. He would see when I was done, he would see how beautiful I could be. But not now, not while this ugly darkness was here.

I couldn't see his face as he pulled the door open for me, but I knew him. He was struggling not to clench his fist, and I could see the tension in his back from here. I kept my eyes on the ground after that, for fear of making him more mad at me. How could I think that I had made any progress yet? I was still an idiot with no co-ordination or grace and a belly that could eclipse the sun. I had embarrassed him. I had been weak.

I bit my tongue until I could taste blood, unwilling to cry in front of the scouts who had congregated here. A very- disgruntled- Rei was sat on the floor wrapped from ankle to mouth with a chain that Venus had summoned. It appeared that if she tried to struggle in the slightest it would burn. Now Rei might be fire proof, but she was by no means protected from Venus' magic. Venus herself was stood behind the Marsian, looking royally pissed (as one might expect to be when one has been dangled by her ankles 10 foot in the air at 3 AM). Her arms were folded, one hip cocked and a murderous expression on her face directed at the bound girl before her. Jupiter was off to one side with Mercury, both content to let Mina do what she wanted to Rei.

Lita stepped over to us and broke the silence- "Ami has scanned every inch of her. There's no dark energy controlling her. There's nothing to fight. This is her. As far as we can tell no monster has any influence on her now. So where do we go from here?"

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><p><strong>Where do we go from here? It's a good question, I'd love to hear your take on where you think this is heading! I can't promise it will influence what I write, but I am curious as to what you think so far. I know there have been long absences- these are par for the course when one acquires a full time job! But I haven't abandoned this story yet, and I pray that you haven't either. You can't know how much your reviews mean to me, that you would read what I write and enjoy it. You can;t know how thankful I am for that.<strong>

**And so I leave you with hope,**

**Beansprout 1997 xx**


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